S1.C16. The Many Faces of Stress: A Mirror for the Mind
When stress hits, we react. But what if those reactions could teach us how to grow, not just survive?
Background Story: "The Joke That Stung Back"
Lulu was usually the one who made people laugh. Quick with a joke, clever with comebacks — her classmates liked her. Or so she thought.
It was a regular Tuesday morning when she saw her friend, Mei, wearing a pink headband that looked a little oversized.
“Whoa, Mei! Are you collecting radio signals with that thing?” Lulu chuckled, expecting others to laugh too.
Mei paused. She looked at Lulu, smiled slightly, and said:
“Better this than hiding behind jokes that no one asked for.”
It was sharp. Quiet. But it pierced something inside Lulu.
Before she could respond, her throat tightened. She looked around — the class had fallen silent. Nobody laughed this time.
Her eyes stung. She blinked fast. But the tears came anyway. Embarrassed, she rushed out and ran straight to the empty library corner so no one could see here— but that’s where Ms. Shanti happened to be shelving books…
Reflections in the Mirror
After a while Ms. Shanti approached Lulu
—Ms. Shanti
(softly)
“Lulu… I saw and heard what happened. Want to tell me what you're feeling?”
Lulu
(small voice)
“She just… said it back. But it hurt more than it should have. I was just joking…”
Ms. Shanti
(gently)
“Sometimes, when we’re under stress — like feeling embarrassed, exposed, or suddenly not in control — our brain switches into survival mode. We fight - flee or Freeze….each of these - it tries to protect us, even before we understand what’s happening.”
Lulu
(looking up slightly)
“What do you mean by ‘survival mode’?”
Ms. Shanti
“Well… when we’re overwhelmed, we attune. That means we automatically tune into danger — real or imagined. The brain quickly picks one of three paths: fight, flight, or freeze.”
Lulu
(silent)
“Like… animals?”
Ms. Shanti
(smiles)
“Exactly. And humans do it too. When we fight, we might lash out — through anger, frustration, or even humor that’s a little sharp… like sarcasm.”
Lulu
(whispers)
“That’s me, right?”
Ms. Shanti
“Maybe. It’s not bad — it’s just one way of saying, ‘I don’t want to feel small.’ But sometimes, those words hit others hard, even when we don’t mean to.”
Lulu
(nods slowly)
Ms. Shanti
“When we flee, we try to run — not always with our feet, but inside. We go quiet, we disappear into distractions, we sleep a lot, or we cry. That crying? Sometimes it’s a kind of emotional clean-up… like rain washing the dust away.”
Lulu
(surprised)
“That’s why I cried?”
Ms. Shanti
“Partly. Crying can feel like pain, but sometimes it’s the body’s way of making room for calm again. But if we’re too full inside and don’t let it out, we can get stuck. That’s when the mind goes blurry… like nothing makes sense anymore.”
Lulu
“I felt all that. I got mad, then I cried, then I just... froze.”
Ms. Shanti
“You moved through all three: fight, flight, freeze. That’s not weakness, Umitha — that’s being human. But the power comes in knowing what’s happening, so you can choose a better next step.”
Lulu
(quietly)
“What if I lied? I told myself it wasn’t my fault... but deep down, I knew I hurt her.”
Ms. Shanti
“Lying is another layer of protection. When the truth feels too heavy, the brain hides it. But honesty? It’s the door back to strength. Especially when it’s hard.”
Lulu
(swallows hard)
“I think I want to say sorry. But I’m scared.”
Ms. Shanti
“Scared means it matters. Courage doesn’t feel calm — it feels shaky, and you still do the right thing. And I’ll be right here if you need support.”
“I need you to bounce back — and you can train your mind to do that. All it takes is a pause, a deep breath, a moment to center yourself with a happy thought, and one powerful question: How can I move forward from this or what did I learn from this? With practice, your brain will start doing it automatically.”
Let’s Reflect for a while on the stages
Now that we understand our responses, and the mindset needed to navigate them, we can begin the real work: training the mind. Growth doesn’t come from comfort — it comes from facing small, inconvenient situations with awareness. Each time we pause, observe, and choose a wiser response, we stretch our emotional muscles.
Over time, what once overwhelmed us becomes something we can manage, even transform. Resilience is not built overnight — it’s trained, moment by moment, in the quiet spaces where we choose growth over reaction.